Thoughts Before Sleep

Random patterns on my pillow
where my face lay
a symbol of lost happiness
and dreams that fade away
My face and head hurt
from tears I can’t contain
the cold and windy weather
disguise my aching pain.
Moon rays through the curtain
sit at front row seats
takes pleasure in my misery
and my heart that barely beats
Thoughts of times gone by
make me gasp for air
the good times that I had
but I can’t go back there.
I wonder “whats wrong with me”
am I ugly or undeserving
to have the touch of someone
that gets my blood pumping
The teddy bear on my bed
I believe if he could speak
would tell me kind words
“You’ll find them; Humble and meek”
Though I don’t believe
the good things that people say,
I lay in bed praying
my dream will find me one day.
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